I'm drunk.
And watching TMZ.
Alone.
But as long as it's not a PBR in an alley, I'm still classy.
Vodka martinis really put the donk in my badonkadonk.
And apparently, I didn't spell that right.
Whatthefuckever.
So, blogging is so much EASIER when I've been drinking.
And when I remember to write the shit that I think down, it's better than finding random notes around my house that are completely non-sensical and tend to be really charged with prejudice.
Drunk Pepper isn't as open and accepting as Sober Pepper.
Except she has way better dance moves.
And she's hotter.
My last blog note is carefully preserved (in my garbage) and I dug it out to share due to the asking of ALL MY FANS.
It goes...
"Occupy whatever movement=push for communism.
Equal opportunity love means you love whoever you fall in love with. DUH. Just like college
Fat people are annoying and amusing. Why is it bad and mean to hate on fat? I'd rather poke on it.
Watch Bai Ling 'You Touched Me, I Don't Know You.' New theme song?
Stuff I need for groceries: bacon, pickles, chips, weed. Hah. But really.
Obama=next Al Green. Sing, MOTHER FUCKER.
Grocery list: bacon, pickles, chips, weed. Hah. Still funny.
Wine=add to groceries. Drank all. Out of wine. Fuck.
There is a sexy black man on TV. Google him.
Damnit, what's his name?
Buy wine.
Invention idea...steak flavored gum.
Get license for that shit."
Fuck.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
The long awaited, much belated second post
Why hello, dear reader...
Yes, I'm pretty sure the only reader I have thus far is Miss California Kay.
It has been quite some time since I have posted on my new blog, but not for lack of things to write about. I have been excruciatingly busy with the holidays, my lovely daughter, and my freshly engaged-to-a-douchebag sister. I also have a terrible habit of "writing" fabulous sparkling blog posts in my head, and never getting them onto a computer for viewing pleasure.
My beloved little sister got engaged this December, and I have been quite beside myself with sadness and disappointment. It is so difficult to see someone you love and care about so much throw their life away on someone who could never be their equal. I've been struggling with the line between knowing that the relationship is not right and supporting my sister's decision to be with someone. However, no matter how much me and my family disapprove of the man she wants to marry, I am still her sister first and foremost. I will attend her wedding, tear up from her beauty as she walks down the aisle, and decorate her vehicle with a quirky "Just Married" sign.
I'm still going to spit in his drink when he's not looking.
Yes, I'm pretty sure the only reader I have thus far is Miss California Kay.
It has been quite some time since I have posted on my new blog, but not for lack of things to write about. I have been excruciatingly busy with the holidays, my lovely daughter, and my freshly engaged-to-a-douchebag sister. I also have a terrible habit of "writing" fabulous sparkling blog posts in my head, and never getting them onto a computer for viewing pleasure.
My beloved little sister got engaged this December, and I have been quite beside myself with sadness and disappointment. It is so difficult to see someone you love and care about so much throw their life away on someone who could never be their equal. I've been struggling with the line between knowing that the relationship is not right and supporting my sister's decision to be with someone. However, no matter how much me and my family disapprove of the man she wants to marry, I am still her sister first and foremost. I will attend her wedding, tear up from her beauty as she walks down the aisle, and decorate her vehicle with a quirky "Just Married" sign.
I'm still going to spit in his drink when he's not looking.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
The Obligatory First Blog Post
I despise writing this first post.
I have had other blogs during other times, and no matter how much I enjoy blathering on in subsequent postings, the first post is the worst to write.
The first blog post usually sets the tone of your blog, introduces the writer, and lets the reader know what kind of blog this will be. However, if the blog writer doesn't quite know the answers to these facets of the blog yet, it is rather difficult to construct a box of sorts to define what this may be.
No matter how difficult and uncomfortable the introductory post may be to write, it is a necessary part of the construction of a blog.
So who am I? Sometimes I'm not even sure. I am a unique contradiction. That may come across as a lofty and conceited statement, however, I don't really know any other way to put it. I'm a single mother in her 20s with a private college education. I drink far too much coffee and red wine and I smoke copious amounts of cigarettes. I'm a feminist who loves men. I recycle and shop at thrift stores...and I wear far too expensive shoes and sometimes litter. My daughter wears cloth diapers and eats gourmet organic food I prepare from scratch...unless of course we decide to have boxed macaroni and cheese for dinner. I adore writing lists and have inappropriate crushes on married powerful men. I'm a recovering drug addict who came from a loving intact family. I love reading and research, but I enjoy watching trashy television late at night. I despise exercising, love dancing, adore unusual healthy food, and drink scotch. I'm a fabulous mother juggling a full time job and raising the most enchanting child I have ever met on my own. I love peace and harmony, but know that sometimes one must fight for it. I make terrible mistakes, but I'm learning. I sometimes spell things wrong, or use the wrong grammar and punctuation and I use the word "fuck" too much (though not in front of little ears).
Why should you stick around? I may not be the most well-spoken blogger or interesting writer, but I'm sure that if you stay with me, you may find out that we aren't very different at all. And if you don't, well at least you were entertained for a few moments of your day. Besides, what better way to meet people than off an anonymous blog on the Internet...hehe...
I have had other blogs during other times, and no matter how much I enjoy blathering on in subsequent postings, the first post is the worst to write.
The first blog post usually sets the tone of your blog, introduces the writer, and lets the reader know what kind of blog this will be. However, if the blog writer doesn't quite know the answers to these facets of the blog yet, it is rather difficult to construct a box of sorts to define what this may be.
No matter how difficult and uncomfortable the introductory post may be to write, it is a necessary part of the construction of a blog.
So who am I? Sometimes I'm not even sure. I am a unique contradiction. That may come across as a lofty and conceited statement, however, I don't really know any other way to put it. I'm a single mother in her 20s with a private college education. I drink far too much coffee and red wine and I smoke copious amounts of cigarettes. I'm a feminist who loves men. I recycle and shop at thrift stores...and I wear far too expensive shoes and sometimes litter. My daughter wears cloth diapers and eats gourmet organic food I prepare from scratch...unless of course we decide to have boxed macaroni and cheese for dinner. I adore writing lists and have inappropriate crushes on married powerful men. I'm a recovering drug addict who came from a loving intact family. I love reading and research, but I enjoy watching trashy television late at night. I despise exercising, love dancing, adore unusual healthy food, and drink scotch. I'm a fabulous mother juggling a full time job and raising the most enchanting child I have ever met on my own. I love peace and harmony, but know that sometimes one must fight for it. I make terrible mistakes, but I'm learning. I sometimes spell things wrong, or use the wrong grammar and punctuation and I use the word "fuck" too much (though not in front of little ears).
Why should you stick around? I may not be the most well-spoken blogger or interesting writer, but I'm sure that if you stay with me, you may find out that we aren't very different at all. And if you don't, well at least you were entertained for a few moments of your day. Besides, what better way to meet people than off an anonymous blog on the Internet...hehe...
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