I'm drunk.
And watching TMZ.
Alone.
But as long as it's not a PBR in an alley, I'm still classy.
Vodka martinis really put the donk in my badonkadonk.
And apparently, I didn't spell that right.
Whatthefuckever.
So, blogging is so much EASIER when I've been drinking.
And when I remember to write the shit that I think down, it's better than finding random notes around my house that are completely non-sensical and tend to be really charged with prejudice.
Drunk Pepper isn't as open and accepting as Sober Pepper.
Except she has way better dance moves.
And she's hotter.
My last blog note is carefully preserved (in my garbage) and I dug it out to share due to the asking of ALL MY FANS.
It goes...
"Occupy whatever movement=push for communism.
Equal opportunity love means you love whoever you fall in love with. DUH. Just like college
Fat people are annoying and amusing. Why is it bad and mean to hate on fat? I'd rather poke on it.
Watch Bai Ling 'You Touched Me, I Don't Know You.' New theme song?
Stuff I need for groceries: bacon, pickles, chips, weed. Hah. But really.
Obama=next Al Green. Sing, MOTHER FUCKER.
Grocery list: bacon, pickles, chips, weed. Hah. Still funny.
Wine=add to groceries. Drank all. Out of wine. Fuck.
There is a sexy black man on TV. Google him.
Damnit, what's his name?
Buy wine.
Invention idea...steak flavored gum.
Get license for that shit."
Fuck.
