I'm drunk.
And watching TMZ.
Alone.
But as long as it's not a PBR in an alley, I'm still classy.
Vodka martinis really put the donk in my badonkadonk.
And apparently, I didn't spell that right.
Whatthefuckever.
So, blogging is so much EASIER when I've been drinking.
And when I remember to write the shit that I think down, it's better than finding random notes around my house that are completely non-sensical and tend to be really charged with prejudice.
Drunk Pepper isn't as open and accepting as Sober Pepper.
Except she has way better dance moves.
And she's hotter.
My last blog note is carefully preserved (in my garbage) and I dug it out to share due to the asking of ALL MY FANS.
It goes...
"Occupy whatever movement=push for communism.
Equal opportunity love means you love whoever you fall in love with. DUH. Just like college
Fat people are annoying and amusing. Why is it bad and mean to hate on fat? I'd rather poke on it.
Watch Bai Ling 'You Touched Me, I Don't Know You.' New theme song?
Stuff I need for groceries: bacon, pickles, chips, weed. Hah. But really.
Obama=next Al Green. Sing, MOTHER FUCKER.
Grocery list: bacon, pickles, chips, weed. Hah. Still funny.
Wine=add to groceries. Drank all. Out of wine. Fuck.
There is a sexy black man on TV. Google him.
Damnit, what's his name?
Buy wine.
Invention idea...steak flavored gum.
Get license for that shit."
Fuck.
I could not love you more if I tried. I may have read "Doctor Pepper isn't as open and accepting as Sober Pepper" and gotten confused because I wasn't aware that soda/pop could be judgmental. The Occupy Hipsters are the new Anti-war 60s Hippies. Except with the internet we have to see more of them. I think I <3 Drunk Pepper and I have no doubt that she's a hottie with killer dance moves. I am off to youtube our Mr President singing.
ReplyDeletePS: Yes, I WOULD like to come over and split a bottle of vodka.
ReplyDeleteExcuse me, Miss Pepper, I am impatiently waiting for sober you to come review what Drunk Pepper got up to last night.
ReplyDeleteHungover Pepper woke up with no recollection she posted...UNTIL NOW! Ugh...
ReplyDeleteAnd I read "Doctor Pepper" as well. I'm slightly obsessed with body parts, but I'm no doctor. Bahaha.
Hungover Pepper isn't very hot, and her dance moves suck. I know because I apparently filmed them. And promptly deleted the horror.
I still have over half the bottle of vodka. I'm thinking martinis are out...maybe vodka cranberries because I need to flush out my urethra after holding my pee all night.
What did you think of the OBAMA SINGING SENSATION?
ReplyDeleteROFL "I'm slightly obsessed with body parts, but I'm no doctor." That is T-shirt worthy.
ReplyDeleteYou FILMED Miss Pepper? Oh dear. Ohhhhh Dear. Yeah, we'll be having a skype date Ma'am. Once I'm off the antibiotics so my liver doesn't explode. I've done bad bad things to this liver so I try to be kind now.
Why in the world did you hold your pee all night? I make people drink plenty of water when drinking so there's no dehydration and thus no hangover.
I was so disappointed by the Presidential singing. There were only two lines!!! I wanted the entire song! It was amazing. I need more singing. I would vote for him 1000x over if he'd sing, um, I'm not sure how often I'd want singing. Singing of anything. I read/heard something somewhere that said they should elect to President whoever can win American Idol. Rofl. It'd probably get more voters.